Untitled 7

January 11th, 2008 by ngawaka19

how the heart does suffer

the ole concave in the chest feeling

the center of the soul

pumping of energy and life…….skips a beat

an accidental cut of the flesh

the softest inner cry that only he

can hear

the protective withdrawal

hoping no-one will notice

fear of exposing the vulnerability

feeling foolish even more stupid

believing in no self-worth

spinning darkness you comfortably

submerge into

to breath

to only breath

estrange myself from thought

to sit amongst the furious trees

in my mind

flowers are unable to grow in this

storm

its so swift

not hearing any birds singing

in the blindness

congealed

stuck

inside

subconscious habits fool us all

knowing different is alien

transcending the change

changing

I don’t know how to do it

slowly the spin cycle down

relieving the over-heated engine

when the last chug has stopped

the steam turns into fluffy clouds

sensitive, refuge

the heart beats on

not rigid and scared

calmed and open

the virgin feeling is fresh

light all around

all loved in the same way

its all’s interpretation that makes

the extent of love different

celebrate

everyone celebrate

for the air we so naively inhale

what is truth

truth is change

change is never

the same

written 22 Feb 1994

by vanessa

SOFT VIEW ADDICTION

December 19th, 2007 by ngawaka19

squinting thru the smoky window

again

agonizing need for clear euphoria

I see that mountain

concealed

thru the window

that mound of dirty mud

piled higher than elephant shit

no desire to focus

dancing thru the dry iced dawn

I’ll take my study of avoidance

with one more breath drawn

and choking laughter

stinging eyed joy

correctional balancing of mind

revealing beautiful half notes

cradling the divine musical door

its wide open

hence rusty reality no user can use

the knocking pisses me off

turn toward momentary time

of tingles

arousing playfully

the lost child that’s willingly lost

in the maze of real truth

nothing and no where

is the real truth

the reality

the dimensions

densities’

hello 5th dimension

I welcome you

my kind and gentle soft view addiction

with no judgment

no star tears falling like raindrops

and no mountain

just a smoky window

filled with glittering dust and sparkling diamonds

kicking off prisms of om’

again

written by Vanessa 13/11/07

Bus Stop

December 18th, 2007 by ngawaka19

no bus
is all I want
instead
truck stop
engines loud
carbines up my nose
old lady
smokes her roll
drum, up my nose
rubbish truck
noise and stink
pungent up my nose
old mad man
kisses the air at me
dirty old truck
dirty old man
fumes, noise, people
all I want is
the 035 home

written 13/12/94
vanessa

intercity

October 30th, 2007 by ngawaka19

intercity

Gisborne to Auckland

last time I took this trip my life was never the same again

9 and a half hours

never the same

the pivotal, cathartic, life changing 9 and a half hours

of a drive

change from the drive?

or

what preceded the drive?

the drive

the full stop on “that” stage of my life

kibosh

on “that” stage of my life

stage?

or war?

survival, struggle, stress

stage?

the stage is a much happier, fulfilling, magical place

not a stage, a war

the bus drive

the same bus drive home to tamaki

the one I took 20 years ago

never the same

here it is

right here now

a chance to let “it” go

a chance to change

pushed to change

or the miracle of destiny?

cause and effect?

or change from pressure?

meant to be

the miracle of milestones

the miracle

the nine and a half hour bus drive

a signpost

a flag

the 2nd great mark in my life

oh that drive, 20 years ago

I wish it was that same successful journey

it worked

effective

the milestone

come on what about now

make it work

what now?

what next?

whatever I want

written 3 jan 07 by vanessa rare COPYRIGHT 07

OVER POPULATION

October 30th, 2007 by ngawaka19

MANAGE

RESPONSIBLY

UNDERSTAND

IMMEDIATELY

RIGHT NOW

OVER POPULATION

CREATING

CONSUMERISM

CAPITALISM

FASCISM

RACISM

SEXISM

EMASCULATION

FEMINISM

SEPARATION

DESPERATION

ANTI HUMANISM

GLOBALIZATION

SURREALISM

CREATING

MANAGING

OVER POPULATION

by vanessa rare

Copyright © 2007 by Vanessa Rare